If you are dealing with the loss of a pet and need someone to talk to, The WHS can help.
- Call and register for our Pet Loss Support Group. (click for details)
- Call our Pet Loss Support Line at 204-988-8804 if you would like to talk to someone about your loss. Messages are checked throughout the day, and every call will be returned.
Losing a Family Pet
We grieve over the death of a pet. This reaction is only natural. Our feelings toward pets are so special that experts have a term for the relationship: the human companion-animal bond. When this bond is severed, the sense of loss can be overwhelming. 
Society does not offer a grieving pet owner a great deal of sympathy. Even a close friend may comment: "It's only a dog (cat) you can always get another." Such a reaction would be heartless given the loss of a human friend or family member. It is generally recognized that a person who has experienced such a loss, needs the support of friends and relatives. Psychologists now acknowledge that we need as much support but get far less with the loss of a companion animal.
How We Feel
When a person dies, there is usually a funeral or a memorial service where sorrow and tears are accepted, even expected. Afterwards, friends and relatives assist and comfort grieving family members until their grief subsides and new routes develop.
When a pet dies, there is no such social ritual to formalize the grief. To many people, a funeral for the family pet would seem eccentric and a formal period of mourning bizarre. even the immediate family and intimate friends may not fully appreciate the loss.
Still the loss of a pet affects our emotions, and even more so if the pet was an integral part of the family. These feelings usually progress though several stages. Recognizing them can help us cope with the grief we feel.
The First Stage: Denial
Denial is the initial response of many pet owners when confronted with a pet's terminal condition or sudden death. This rejection seems to be the minds 'buffer' against a sharp emotional blow.
The Second Stage: Bargaining
This stage is well documented in the human grieving process. Many times, faced with an impending death, and individual may "bargain" - offering some sacrifice if the loved one is spared. People losing a pet are loss likely to bargain. Still the hope that a pet may recover can foster reactors like, "If Rover recovers, I'll never skip his regular walk, never put him in a kennel when I go on vacation...never...". Bargaining following a death is often seen as all the "What if's" and "If only's" that people often torment themselves with.
The Third Stage: Anger
Recognizing anger in the grief process is seldom a problem; dealing with it often is. Anger can be obvious, as in hostility or aggression. On the other hand, anger often times turns inward, emerging as guilt. 
Many veterinarians heard the classic anger response, "What happened? I thought you had everything under control and now you've killed my dog!" Or: "You never really cared about Rover. He was just another fee to you, and I'm the one that lost my pet!" Such outbursts help relieve immediate frustrations, but often at the expense of someone else. More commonly, pet owners dwell on the past. "If only I hadn't left the dog at my sister's house...", "If only I had taken kitty to the veterinarian a week ago..." Whether true or false, this usually does little to relieve anger and is not constructive.
Anger can be directed at anyone. The veterinarian as in your example, at a stranger who may have been involved in the death as when a dog is hit by a car, at a family member who did not have a very close relationship with the pet and is seen as not grieving, at God for allowing the death to occur and not saving the pet, or it can be a free-floating rage that this has occurred and the bereaved owner was powerless to prevent it. Of course, there is also the anger turned inward that is experienced as guilt - perhaps the most difficult form of anger to cope with.
The Fourth Stage: Grief
This stage of true sadness. The pet is gone, along with the guilt and anger, and only emptiness remains. It is now that the support of family and friends is most important - and sadly most difficult to find.
A lack of support prolongs the grief stage. Therefore, the pet owner may want to seek some help from a professional counsellor. It is normal, and should be acceptable, to display grief when a companion animal dies. It is helpful too, to recognize that other pet owners have experienced similar strong feelings, and you are not alone in this feeling of grief.
When grieving the loss of someone whom we have loved, species is irrelevant. What is important is the loss of a meaningful relationship. No one grieves for a dog, or a cat, or a horse, or a rabbit - they grieve for a particular individual with whom they had a relationship and shared a love bond.
People experiencing grief do not progress through the stages of grief in a linear manner. Instead we often bounce back and forth among the various stages often the same day, or within the space of a few hours.
The Proper Good-Bye
At some point, you are going to have to make final arrangements for your pet. Most veterinarians can either handle matters themselves or explain the choices available. There are several options:
Cemetery Burial: People have been burying their pets in ritual fashion since Egyptian time. Today there are pet cemeteries in virtually every populated area.
Home Burial: It is not uncommon for pet owners to bury their pets somewhere on their own property, but you should check with your municipality before making such arrangements. Typically, home burial is permitted in rural and suburban settings. A tight-fitting wooden box would be appropriate for your pet's remains. 
Cremations: Your veterinarian probably can arrange for cremation and advise you on environmental concerns regarding the disposal of ashes.
In Memorial
It is helpful to find a personally meaningful way to memorialize the loss of a pet. It's a way to openly acknowledge the life of the pet, and the importance of the pet in the life of the owner. Some people create photo albums of the pet, others may plant a tree or shrub in memory of the pet, while others make a "memory box" in which all the pets belongings are kept. For many people it is comforting to commemorate the pet's life by doing something that will help other animals; they may choose to make a donation in memory of their pet that will help other animal welfare organizations such as The Winnipeg Humane Society.
The Final Stage: Resolution
As grief progresses, the painful memories of the death of the pet recede in memory, and the memories of happier times take a more prominent position. Immediately following the death of a pet most people are overwhelmed by the painful feelings of loss, but in this time that people begin to think about the possibility of a new companion animal. The new pet will never replace the deceased pet, but it would be a new relationship with a different individual who will likely turn out to have all sorts of endearing mannerisms and traits of their own.